Sample roast — Uber-for-houseplants — business idea (fictional)
0%
Cooked Score
Business Idea auditdev modefictional sample

Absolutely Fried

The business may be viable, but the presentation is actively hurting sales.

The plants will outlive this business model.

The Roast

No proof anywhere. You're asking strangers to take your word for it, and your word is 'seamless'.

Serious Diagnosis

The page presents claims without evidence. Testimonials, metrics, and outcomes are absent or buried.

Primary Cause of Death

No reason to act today.

Secondary Injuries
  • A buyer finishing this page knows less than when they arrived. That's a skill, but not a useful one.
  • Everything is yelling at the same volume, so nothing gets heard.
Top Leaks — 5 found
1. No visible proofcritical

Claims are made without evidence — no numbers, outcomes, or named results anywhere prominent.

2. No buyer-specific outcomecritical

The visitor can't tell if this works for someone in their exact situation.

3. Flat visual hierarchymajor

Headline, proof, and CTA all carry equal visual weight, so the eye has no path to follow.

4. Generic copymajor

Abstract, feature-led language that could describe any business in your category.

5. Broken conversion pathminor

Too many steps, competing actions, or dead ends between interest and purchase.

What this is costing you

Every 100 visitors, an estimated 48 leave without understanding what you sell. At your traffic levels that is a silent tax on every dollar of marketing spend.

Score Breakdown — higher is more cooked
Proof78
Buyer Confidence75
Visual Hierarchy71
Copy65
Conversion59
Offer54
Urgency50
Friction46
Differentiation45
CTA44
Trust42
Clarity40
SEO / AEO39
Revenue Recovery Potential39
Shareability26
Mobile25
Fastest Fix

Lead with your single best receipt. One specific result with a name and number beats ten anonymous adjectives.

Recovery Status

Fixable. Barely.

Recovery Plan
  1. 1
    Lead with your single best receiptimpact: higheffort: low

    One specific result with a name and number beats ten anonymous adjectives.

  2. 2
    Answer the three silent objectionsimpact: higheffort: medium

    'Will it work for me?', 'What if it doesn't?', 'Why you?' — answer all three on the page.

  3. 3
    Establish one dominant element per screenimpact: mediumeffort: medium

    Each viewport gets one hero element. Demote everything else by size, weight, or contrast.

  4. 4
    Cut the copy in half, then half againimpact: mediumeffort: low

    Every remaining sentence must name a pain, a proof, or a payoff.

  5. 5
    Collapse the funnel to one actionimpact: higheffort: medium

    Pick the single highest-value action and make everything on the page point at it.

Cooked AIBusiness Idea audit
91%
Absolutely Fried
Verdict

The plants will outlive this business model.

The Roast

The plants will outlive this business model.

Primary Leak

No visible proof

Recovery

Fixable. Barely.

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