Public roast gallery
The hall of flame.
Opt-in and fictional roasts only. Nobody gets publicly cooked without raising their own hand.
SaaS84%
Absolutely Fried
“You are not out of business. But your homepage is trying.”
Primary leakVague positioning.
RecoveryStrong prognosis if treated this quarter.
Local Business71%
Very Cooked
“Thirty-seven years of trust, zero pixels of proof.”
Primary leakClaims without receipts.
RecoveryStrong prognosis if treated this quarter.
Local Business66%
Very Cooked
“Luxurious. Vague. Expensively unclear.”
Primary leakUnanswered buyer objections.
RecoveryFixable.
Local Business78%
Very Cooked
“The food might be great. The website is a PDF with a dream.”
Primary leakMobile neglect.
RecoverySalvageable, but stop touching it until you read this.
Creator62%
Very Cooked
“Nine links, zero reasons to click any of them.”
Primary leakInterchangeable positioning.
RecoverySalvageable, but stop touching it until you read this.
Investor Relations88%
Absolutely Fried
“Your IR page communicates one thing clearly: nobody's home.”
Primary leakCredibility vacuum.
RecoveryStrong prognosis if treated this quarter.
Agency74%
Very Cooked
“An agency selling differentiation, without any.”
Primary leakInterchangeable positioning.
RecoveryFixable with adult supervision.
Idea91%
Absolutely Fried
“The plants will outlive this business model.”
Primary leakNo reason to act today.
RecoveryFixable.
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